If I were to guess, I would say that 60% of what I do as a life coach involves talking about anxiety. My clients are quick to hear my lecture on anxiety and most of the time they don’t get up and walk out. Which is good, because one of the first jobs of a therapist or life coach is to “normalize” a condition.
Anyway, in a nutshell, the lecture goes like this:
ME: “Describe your anxiety.”
CLIENT: [Their response is obviously different for each of them, but we quickly get to the idea that at the root of all anxiety is fear.]
ME: “What are you most afraid of when in the depths of anxiety?”
CLIENT: [Again, the response differs by client, but merely expressing their deepest felt fear is somehow liberating.]
ME: “How often does this happen?”
CLIENT: “Oh, I don’t know, once or twice a day.”
ME: “That little?”
CLIENT: “Yes.” (With raised eyebrows)
ME: “Then please tell me, what are you doing right? I mean, you must be doing a lot right to stave off the vagaries of life such that you are anxious only once or twice a day! It’s chaos out there, baby, and I for one am impressed that you get anxious only once or twice a day! Good for you.”
I don’t exactly end the session there, but they get my point: Life is hell and being anxious is fundamental to the human condition. We must remain anxious to some degree in order to stay skeptical and therefore alive. It’s evolutionary. I get anxious when driving in city traffic, not because I fear my bad driving habits but because I fear the other guy’s. It’s a kind of “existential anxiety,” if you will, and is to be expected.
Nonetheless, a lot of anxiety is a killer. Over some long term, excess stress (what we
might call duress) will weaken your immune system and open you up to all manner of infectious disease and ultimately the degradation of the body itself. Death follows.
They say exercise is the best medicine and that is often my first recommendation. But that only goes so far. The next recommendation then is to see a medical doctor or psychiatrist for a prescription of some sort. But they must stay in talk-therapy, I tell them, because drugs by themselves do not teach us better coping and mitigation tactics and strategies.
Another short-term solution can be reading about anxiety and perhaps working through evidence-based techniques for quelling the monkey mind that afflicts all of us. Self-help books that target anxiety management can be a very useful part of the treatment journey. That said, when looking for a good book on the topic of anxiety, please consider the writer’s credentials as well as the scientific evidence used to back up the information presented. Also, look for a book that focuses on specific issues and symptoms in order to provide more targeted advice
This quick post is about some of the books now on offer through Amazon, Barnes and Nobel, and other bookstores that seem to be rather popular and, in some cases, have even worked for me.
OVERVIEW
Despite the fact that anxiety is very treatable, only about 40% of people who struggle with anxiety receive help. As I say above, and while anxiety is a normal human emotion felt by all people at some point or another, anxiety disorders can make certain aspects of life unmanageable, such as social situations or test-taking at school.
The bottom line is that you aren’t alone, and the wide variety of books dedicated to this topic are proof of that. Take a look at each of these. Perhaps one of them will work for you!
- Be Calm: Proven Techniques to Stop Anxiety Now
Designed to be used more as a reference book rather than as a ‘sit down and read’ book, Be Calm is the result of techniques that author, and psychologist, Dr. Jill Weber has seen work for her patients after years of observation. The book can help you find relief from heightened anxiety or panic attacks quickly by using the reference guide to find options for relief in the moment.
- Don’t Feed the Monkey Mind: How to Stop the Cycle of the Anxiety, Fear, and Worry
This is a much-needed option for people who feel like their brains never take a break from the vicious cycle of overthinking and constant worrying. Psychotherapist Jennifer Shannon teaches us to accept how our anxious brains operate, while not allowing the anxious thoughts to escalate and take over all pleasant parts of life.
- A Liberated Mind: How to Pivot Toward What Matters
This book challenges the traditional views of anxiety by teaching that it is natural to hurt and that we hurt because we care. Learning to listen to the pain rather than avoiding it helps heal it instead of intensifying it. As a psychotherapist who had an epiphany during a panic attack of his own, author Dr. Steven Hayes (a professor of mine at The University of Nevada) uses acceptance and commitment therapy to help teach psychological flexibility skills to greatly decrease painful symptoms of anxiety and make room for the joyful things that matter most in life.
- Dialectical Behavior Therapy Workbook: The 4 DBT Skills to Overcome Anxiety by Learning How to Manage Your Emotions. A Practical Guide to Recovering from Borderline Personality Disorder
Workbooks are a great way to personalize new strategies and to find techniques that work for you. While it’s best to use workbooks in conjunction with therapy, Dr. David Lawson designed this workbook to address the anxiety caused by personality disorders and feelings of overwhelm when anxiety strikes.
- Negative Self-Talk and How to Change It
After publishing 20 books, Dr. Shad Helmstetter has condensed his years of experience into a 60-minute read. With simple language and effective techniques, this book is made for the busy person who just needs to know what works.
- Feeling Better: CBT Workbook for Teens: Essential Skills and Activities to Help You Manage Moods, Boost Self-Esteem, and Conquer Anxiety
Teenagers have unique types of stress due to the phase of life and stages of growth they are navigating. Pressures from school, peers, and future goals can create confusion, stress, and anxiety. Understanding and implementing positive stress management techniques can help teenagers avoid falling into self-destructive stress management patterns.
- Under Pressure: Confronting the Epidemic of Stress and Anxiety in Girls
In this book, clinical psychologist Lisa DaMour tackles the specific pressures, stress, and heightened feelings of anxieties that girls experience during growth and progression through child and teenage years. This book is a must for parents, teachers, coaches, and anyone who works with teenage girls. Know the warning signs of anxiety and ways to help.
- How to Be Yourself: Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety
People who are shy or introverted often struggle with social anxiety. In this book, Dr. Hendriksen teaches readers that they already have everything they need to be successful in social situations, they just need to learn how to access it. Social anxiety can come from the inner critic speaking too loudly. This book shows you how to be yourself and feel good about it.
- Retrain Your Brain (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy in 7 Weeks: A Workbook for Managing Depression and Anxiety)
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is one of the most scientifically backed therapy approaches for anxiety management and relief. Clinical Psychologist Seth Gillihan shows readers how to recognize anxiety causing thoughts, stop them, and replace them with sound minded thoughts.
- Anxiety: The Missing Stage of Grief: A Revolutionary Approach to Understanding and Healing the Impact of Loss
Sometimes the source of our anxiety can come from a surprising source: grief. Licensed therapist Claire Smith explores the often-overlooked link between grief and anxiety. When we understand how the two connect, we can begin to calm the anxiety through the right techniques.
SUMMARY
Be Calm: Proven Techniques to Stop Anxiety Now and Don’t Feed the Monkey Mind are two books that offer sound techniques for all anxiety types. These two books are a good place to start in the anxiety healing journey. Be Calm is more serious and will take longer to read, while Stop the Monkey Mind is more entertaining with humor and stories.
What to look for in books for anxiety?
- Effective Techniques
While a lot of people have opinions about what works to decrease anxiety, it is always best to stick with authors who are trained in the medical and mental health fields and use techniques that are supported by scientific research.
- Easy to Understand Language
A self-help book does not help at all if it is too boring to read all the way through. Look for language that you jive with personally and find easy to understand and implement. Books that combine humor and stories with techniques help us better remember the learned concepts.
- Realistic Length
We’re all busy. It’s important to choose a book that fits your current schedule. A lengthy, in-depth book will not help if you are in a chaotic phase of life. A longer, more in-depth book may be helpful if you are carving out time specifically to address your anxiety and wellness.
I hope this helps!
