One of my favorite actors is Ethan Hawke, principally for the acting he did in Dead Poet’s Society, but also for the work he’s done behind the camera in the little seen and even lesser recognized film, Before Sunrise. This is a man nominated four times for an Oscar – count’em, FOUR times – and he is only 45 years old. Remarkable, if you ask me.
Even more remarkable are his books, the latest of which is Rules for a Knight, based on a letter he says was discovered hidden in an attic somewhere and dating back to the 1400s. Provenance aside, the letter is full of wisdom, which Mr. Hawke has brought forward into this gem of a book. Its protagonist is Sir Thomas Hawkes of Cornwall, and the book begins with these words:
“Tonight I will share with you some of the more valuable stories, events, and moments of my life so that somewhere deep in the recesses of your imagination these lessons might continue on and my experiences will live to serve a purpose for you.”
The stories, the events and moments of which he speaks may be summed up in the 20 rules for acting like a knight in shining armor. I suppose they can be equally applicable to women in shining armor, although the image is not that which we normally summon up.
Here they are:
- Solitude
Create time alone with yourself. When seeking the wisdom and clarity of your own mind, silence is a helpful tool. The voice of our spirit is gentle and cannot be heard when it has to compete with others. Just as it is impossible to see your reflection in troubled water, so too is it with the soul. In silence, the water is stilled and we can sense eternity sleeping inside us. Sadly, solitude – time without the endless orgasmic bashing of rap, of over-rated musical divas, from a bank of over-powered bass speakers – is not something our youth seem to be able to summon, although I believe they should try. We can only live with ourselves if we can stop and listen, truly listen, to what we have to say. That is nigh impossible to do in a room full of shouting.
- Humility
Never announce that you are a knight, simply behave as one. You are better than no one, and no one is better than you. Humility is a lost art, to be sure. The idea that we would never announce anything to the world, let alone the fact that we are striving be knight-like, is clearly lost in a world of Kanye Wests and Kim Kardashians.
- Gratitude
The only intelligent response to the ongoing gift of life is gratitude. For all that has been, a knight says, “Thank you.” For all that is to come, a knight says, “Yes!” Gratitude is a wonderful virtue and one that I do not practice nearly enough. But in the becoming of a knight, one must be forever striving to be grateful.
- Pride
Never pretend you are not a knight or attempt to diminish yourself because you deem it will make others more comfortable. We show others the most respect by offering the best of ourselves. I am reminded here that false-humility – that is, pretending not to be a knight – is not much better than pride. We are who we are.
- Cooperation
Each one of us is walking our own road. We are born at specific times, in specific places, and our challenges are unique. As knights, understanding and respecting our distinctiveness is vital to our ability to harness our collective strength. The use of force may be necessary to protect in an emergency, but only justice, fairness, and cooperation can truly succeed in leading men. We must live and work together as brothers or perish together as fools.
- Friendship
The quality of your life will, to a large extent, be decided by with whom you elect to spend your time. And the “who” can also be your thoughts. If we live with self-defeating thoughts, we will be self-defeating. No way around it.
- Forgiveness
Those who cannot easily forgive will not collect many friends. Look for the best in others.
- Honesty
A dishonest tongue and a dishonest mind waste time, and therefore waste our lives. We are here to grow and the truth is the water, the light, and the soil from which we rise. The armor of falsehood is subtly wrought out of the darkness and hides us not only from others but from our own soul.
- Courage
Anything that gives light must endure burning. Carpe diem! Gather ye rosebuds while ye may.
- Grace
Grace is the ability to accept change. Be open and supple; the brittle break.
- Patience
There is no such thing as a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. A hurried mind is an addled mind; it cannot see clearly or hear precisely; it sees what it wants to see, or hears what it is afraid to hear, and misses much. A knight makes time his ally. There is a moment for action, and with a clear mind that moment is obvious.
- Justice
There is only one thing for which a knight has no patience: injustice. Every true knight fights for human dignity at all times.
- Generosity
You were born owning nothing and with nothing you will pass out of this life. Be frugal and you can be generous.
- Discipline
In the field of battle, as in all things, you will perform as you practice. With practice, you build the road to accomplish your goals. Excellence lives in attention to detail. Give your all, all the time. Don’t save anything for the walk home. The better a knight prepares, the less willing he will be to surrender.
- Dedication
Ordinary effort = ordinary result. Take steps each day to better follow these rules. Luck is the residue of design. Be steadfast. The anvil outlasts the hammer.
- Speech
Do not speak ill of others. A knight does not spread news that he does not know to be certain, or condemn things that he does not understand.
- Faith
Sometimes to understand more, you need to know less. I just finished my PhD and I gotta tell you this: I think I know less rather than more. A lot less.
- Equality
Every knight holds human equality as an unwavering truth. A knight is never present when men or women are being degraded or compromised in any way, because if a knight were present, those committing the hurtful acts or words would be made to stop.
- Love
Love is the end goal. It is the music of our lives. There is no obstacle that enough love cannot move.
- Death
Life is a long series of farewells; only the circumstances should surprise us. A knight concerns himself with gratitude for the life he has been given. He does not fear death, for the work one knight begins, others may finish.
A must read!
