Somehow I Managed (Part Four): 100+ Things I Learned in Business

This is Part Four of a five part series on what I learned in 25+ years in business. You can see Part One here, Part Two here and Part Three here.

Once again, to understand my title, Somehow I Managed, you have to have known about Michael Scott, Regional Manager of Dunder Mifflin Paper Company in Scranton, PA. Played by Steve Carell, Michael Scott was something of an unorthodox manager (to say the least). The title of his book is Somehow I Manage, although he never published it. Watch the series and you will understand more.

Items 1-76 appeared in the first three parts. To bring us up to 100, here are the next 24!

1. Avoid vanity walls. Keep your office layout simple. Keep it “all business.” I have a Doctorate, but you won’t find the diploma in my office, nor my two Master’s degrees and a BBA. There – now you know. I don’t need to remind people.
2. And while I’m talking about simplicity, follow the lead of the US government. There are very simple rules for determining what size office a certain pay grade will receive. Nothing more and nothing less. The Director of the FBI’s office is only three times as big as the lowly street agent’s office. Think of how that alone telegraphs the notion of the “flat organization.” Office size and penis length are inversely related. Remember that.
3. The great economist, Milton Friedman, once said, “The business of business is business.” End of story. The business of business is NOT to change the world, no matter what Steve Jobs thought. You can save the world by engaging in a business that meets customer demand. Period. I doubt the iPhone saved the world but it sure as hell met customer demand, and quite well.
4. The triple bottom line is a fad. Candidly, I don’t even know what it means, and, remember, I have an MBA and teach in a College of Business! I do the politically correct thing and “teach” the idea of a TBL. But what do I really believe? Answer: There is only one bottom line and you know what it is. If budgeting for social good is what you do, then good on you, but you cannot help society if you don’t make a profit.
5. Find an untapped market segment. Define it if you must. Dream it up, if that works. Remember: they still make buggy-whips.
6. Join a professional development group. I think here of TEC in Australia, and Vistage in the US. If there isn’t one in your hometown, form one. Figure it out.
7. Don’t use your Inbox as a pending file. Answer correspondence quickly. “Touch it once,” as they say. In-Box Zero™ is a wonderful goal.
8. Buy a typewriter. Color inside the lines. Learn to write in cursive. Use a straight-edge. Practice Perfect Grammar.  How you write matters almost as much as what you write. The medium is the message.
9. Empower every single employee. From the janitor to the Executive Vice President, they all should have a way to make a difference. If you treat them as dispensable, they will act as dispensable. If you treat them as children they will act as children. Worst of all, they’ll steal from you.
10. I so disagree with Jeff Bezos and Tim Cook. Huge headquarter buildings are like office size, and similar as well to that inverse relationship I spoke of above (Office Size/HQ Building Size and penis length are inversely related). Keep things simple and humble. Think here of Warren Buffet and his home in Omaha.
11. Never have a business unit bigger than 160 employees. Read Malcolm Gladwell’s books to know why.
12. Want a corporate jet? Fine. It can be cost-justified in so many ways. But remember what I said about always flying coach. Bill Gates was the last of the high-tech-tycoons to get one. And Warren Buffet doesn’t even own one (although he owns an entire company dedicated to flying private). Yes, he owns an entire airline, but my guess is that he doesn’t care how any one of them is outfitted. It’s all about the cost savings to him.
13. Honor processes. Follow the process at least once, then decide how to break it and come up with something new, something more efficient. And do that publicly. Don’t hide. Don’t engage in sabotage of a process, or in any sort of undermining. You aren’t that kind of person. And ALWAYS come up with alternative. Don’t engage in only deconstruction. Build things up.
14. Bad processes cannot be saved by throwing technology at the problem. If you have a bad process in your organization, fix it, but not by throwing technology at it. That is the hobgoblin of little minds. Instead, chart the process on the back of a napkin and work to find its weak points. Use a white board. Talk to people. Don’t assume that more technology can ever fix a bad process. And avoid consultants.
15. You have all the consultants you need, right there on your own payroll. Outside consultants are two-armed bandits. There’s an old joke and it goes like this:A classified ad was placed that read, “Wanted: CEO needs a one-armed consultant, with a social sciences degree and five years of experience.”  The man who won the job asked, “I understand most of the qualifications you required, but why ‘one armed’?”  The CEO answered, “I have had many consultants, and I am tired of hearing with each advice the phrase ‘on the other hand’.”Ask your own people what they would do to fix a problem. After all, they’re the ones who helped create it (you too).
16. Keep a paper calendar. When you make an appointment, write it down. You can always enter it into your organization’s scheduling program later. This way, your complete calendar is in front of you always. And paper doesn’t need batteries.
17. Buy a flip-phone. Go low-tech. They can text as well as an iPhone or a Galaxy. A flip-phone doesn’t have you looking down all the time. Remember, looking up and forward is where you should be looking, not down at your crotch.
18. Avoid the Tyranny of the Word “or” and invest all you got in the Genius of the Word “and.” At every turn, strike the word “or” from your vocabulary. It has a nasty habit of sticking to the phrase, Either Or. Things are never so stark that there is only one choice, this way or the highway. Think “and” instead. See the comment above about not being your organization’s “no man” and work to be the “yes and…” man.
19. Take vacations and turn off the phone. If you are indispensable, then the problem can wait on your return from holiday. Sharpen the saw, recharge your batteries, regroup. This can only happen if you … turn off the phone.
20. Carry a notebook wherever you go. Yes, a plain paper, spiral bound notebook into which you jot down ideas, into which you capture what others have had to say, and within which you plan. Thomas Jefferson called it his Commonplace Book. And it wasn’t an iPad, but … paper.
21. Don’t be afraid to exit a business. Nothing lasts forever and no matter how much fun you’re having with your existing line of business, never be afraid to sell it and get out. And generally, that decision gets made long before the product peaks on its life cycle.
22. Never email the guy in the next cubicle. Get up and walk over and talk to him.
23. Steven Covey, he of 7 Habits fame, has a wonderful video (you can find it on YouTube) about how to focus first on the big rocks of life. Many of us start and end our days with the small rocks, the inconsequential stuff, and then wonder why the big rocks aren’t being attended to. Watch the video. Identify your big rocks. Put them into your day first, then fill around them with the smaller rocks. One of the biggest rocks ought to be self-care. Focus on the big rocks.
24. Robert Eliot wrote: “Rule No. 1? don’t sweat the small stuff. Rule No. 2? It’s all small stuff.” The lesson?  Focus not on the small stuff. More than that, there is this lesson: if you cannot fight or you cannot flee, then flow. Focus instead on the big rocks.

So, whadya think? I’d love to hear from you. And stay tuned for Part Five!