Joseph V. Russo, PhD

This post will be about smiling. You know – the opposite of frowning. In fact, I am smiling as I write this. My wife says I have an impish smile. I think she has a radiant smile. But I know people who cannot smile at all. And it elicits from me a frown. It is THAT contagious.

When people are “forced” to smile – that is, when they are asked to come up with their own version of a smile – they found it to be equally contagious and rather intoxicating.

Smiling is its own reward. But how can we force a smile in someone who cannot summon the energy it takes to smile. And make no mistake, it does take some amount of energy to force ourselves to something that isn’t a natural reflex.

You probably are familiar with the pencil technique. Here, I’ll show you: Stick a big, bad Number 2 Ticonderoga in your mouth, between your lips. I guarantee it will make you frown. But if, instead, you put it in your teeth, it will make you smile. Simple as that.

In moments of distress, I tell my clients to, “…turn to Ticonderoga!”

This is by no means an original thought on my part (sadly, not much is).  My own grandmother suggested it, and her grandmother before that. But can it really make a difference in how we feel?

Turns out, yes, it does.

In 1974, a Dr. Laird and his compatriots conducted two experiments in which they manipulated an independent variable (people’s facial expressions) through means not disclosed to the study participations. The participants were shown cartoons from the newspaper. Laird and Company attached wires, electrodes, to the participants’ faces at the eyebrows, on their jaws, and at the corners of their mouths. The participants were then asked to contract their facial muscles, as best they could, at these specific places. The hypothesis was that if an individual’s mouth was manipulated into the form of a smile, it would change their opinion of the cartoon strip. It was also done using humorous video clips. And, in fact, when smiling, their perception of humor in the cartoon or the clip rose, dramatically at times, but never decreased.

A Dr. Strack and his research buddies did something similar in 1988. They asked participants to hold a pencil between their teeth rating the degree of humor in a series of newspaper cartoons. Holding the pencil in the mouth this way forced the individuals to smile. Meanwhile, other study subjects were asked to hold the pencil between their lips without touching the pencil with their teeth. This forced the muscles to contract resulting in a frown. The hypothesis was that participants who were led to smile would judge the cartoons as funnier than participants who were led to frown. And, again, this is precisely what occurred, to dramatic effect.

Those, then, were the seminal studies. Since then, other researchers have looked at various sub-criteria of smiling, for example the so-called fake smile, the extent to which teeth are exposed in a smile or how much of the cheek is lifted or corners of the mouth raised. Those researchers have discovered that there is a greater effect on a person’s experience with positive events (funny video clips or cartoons) when such sub-criteria are forced.

The bottom line here is this: the bigger the smile, the greater the effect, and that smiling during brief periods of stress may help reduce the body’s stress response, regardless of whether the person actually feels happy or not.

Moreover, smiling does indeed get the world to smile along. Consider how smiling …

1.  Makes Us Attractive to others There is an automatic attraction to people who smile.
2. Changes our Mood. If you try, even when it’s difficult, to smile when you are not feeling good, there is a change it might improve your affect and change the way you are feeling.
3. is Contagious. Others will want to be with you. You will be helping others feel good.
4. Relieves Stress. It is tough to hide stress from coming out on our faces. When we smile, it can help us look better, less tired, less worn down.
5. Boosts the Immune System. Smiling can stimulate your immune response by helping you relax.
6. Lowers Blood Pressure When you smile, there is evidence that your blood pressure can decrease.
7. Releases Endorphins and Serotonin. Research has reported that smiling releases endorphins, which are natural pain relievers, along with serotonin, which is also associated with feel good properties.

Remember, smiling doesn’t cost you anything, makes you infinitely more attractive, and makes the world a better place for all of us!

Carl Jung

Enantiodromia – or, how to play on the see-saw all by yourself. This article examines a number of subjects including Carl Jung’s notion of enantiodromia, cognitive dissonance, with a little Rogerian incongruity thrown in for good measure. As always, let me know if it was useful to you – or not. I do enjoy hearing my many readers!

I use the term enantiodromia for the emergence of the unconscious opposite in the course of time. In the philosophy of Heraclitus it is used to designate the play of opposites in the course of events—the view that everything that exists turns into its opposite….

— C. G. Jung (1949)

In my practice as a therapist, I frequently refer to enantiodromia – as did one of my favorite professor s of all time, Dr. Christian Conte – when explaining the very human tendency to move from one extreme to its polar opposite.

It is a compound of two Greek words:  enantios (which in Greek can mean “opposite”), and dramein (“to run” from the Greek dromas, for “running”).  For example, in describing reactions to events, many of my clients will initially express anger, envy, or revulsion (certainly extremes) but quickly move, by dint of guilt perhaps or a sense of having overreacted, to shame and embarrassment at having had such thoughts (the other extreme). It is the emotional see-saw that can leave so many of us wrung-out.

What of this? Why is it a decidedly human response to our own thoughts? And what can be done about it?

In my view, this run to the opposite is a function of an overwrought sense of embarrassment at having taken such an extreme position. It is a function of shame arising from a profound psychic dissonance. Or, as Carl Rogers might have put it, an extreme sense of incongruity. We sense an imbalance and to correct that imbalance, as on a see-saw, we run to the other side. 

Of course, this amounts to playing see-saw all by ourselves. We cannot, by the laws of nature, achieve a balance of both sides without first getting off the see-saw and gingerly manipulating the bar to some sort of equilibrium.

This is where therapy or the willing ear of a good friend comes in. The ability, if you will, to get off the see-saw and to raise or lower the bar to its balancing point.

Can it be done by ourselves? Yes, but it takes practice and an understanding of the so-called ten cognitive distortions (of which I have written about before in this blog). Further, it takes the truly human insight that “dissonance happens.” We are confronted every day by our view of events which can leave us depleted, tired, and hungry. As the great Greek philosopher and stoic Epictetus said …

“Men are not disturbed by things, but by their view of things.”

Take for instance the very real human tendency to compare oneself to others. It is perhaps, the number one source of cognitive dissonance (aside from graduate studies!). With the advent of social media it has become a source of depressive thinking, anxiety, and downright worthlessness. The fact is, of course, that you can always find someone better off than yourself – someone with more money, better looks (or, so you think), a better body, a bigger house, a better looking girl- or boy-friend … the list is endless.

We know nothing about what is “really” happening with other people (remembering here the maxim that there are only two kinds of people in the world, those with issues and the dead). We can, however, safely assume that they are doing precisely the same thing – comparing themselves to others – but in differing degrees. It is a human tendency.

So, the dissonance which results from the comparison – that “gap” between the ideal of the comparator and our present condition – devolves into the aforementioned feelings of worthlessness, depression, anxiety … you name it.  The trick is to, first, acknowledge the gap in our thinking; that distance between what is real and what is ideal. Or, between that which is idealized and how I see myself.

It is important to recognize that there is always a gap, but the width is up to you. No two people are the same – therefore, there will be a gap between what you are and what they are. But it is the wild assumptions we make about people that contribute to the widening gaps and the dissonance which settles in that space.

Second, therefore, is the need to stop and dispute your assumptions. What do you really know about that other person? Probably not nearly as much as you think. And being pretty or handsome does not mean that they have the perfect life, worthy of your envy (not that anything is worthy of envy).

In fact, their lives may be every bit as miserable as you think yours is!

I want you also to dispute the assumptions you are making about yourself and the conclusion that “mine is a miserable life.” Oh yeah? Really? Tell you what, let’s fly down to Santiago, Chili, and as we land I will point out the slums at the north end of the runway. The acres of cardboard and tin shacks where running water happens only when it rains or as the snow melts. Or let’s run off to Dhaka, the Capital of Bangladesh, where a cardboard shack would be the equivalent of moving uptown!

No, your life is probably just fine.

Next step is to close the gap. And you do that by, (a) disputing your assumptions (See step 2), (b) imagining what life would be like were you not you as you are but as you would like to be, and (c), the means by which you would get there.

For example, I look at the guy who has just parked his gorgeous, new Mercedes next to my 10-year-old Ford truck, in our company’s parking lot. I begin imagining what a wonderful life he must have, his beautiful wife awaiting him at home, his well-adjusted children beavering away in the best schools, his solid career as a highly paid-something (I know not what), and an ever-appreciating trust fund just dripping with dividends and interest.

I have in one-fell-swoop created the Ideal, the Comparator. I have also, in so doing, depreciated my state of affairs. I referred to my truck, for example, as being ten years old, and therefore not new. And the difference between the Ideal, the Comparator, and me, will quickly fill with dissonance, like a mudslide.

Here is what I have learned with age:

1. The Mercedes is overpriced and over-valued. It is without question a status symbol.
2. It is usually not paid for and requires an investment every month just for insurance.
3. It is quite possible that the guy is a Mercedes salesman and gets the car for free, while making a lot less than I do.
4. His wife is far from beautiful and is in fact undeniably homely and caustic. The Mercedes is actually her’s and she ordered him to get the oil changed today.
5. The children, one of whom is a delinquent and the other pregnant, wont make it out of high school.
6. The trust fund is nonexistent; in fact, his in-laws, his wife’s mom and dad, are in a rest home and every extra dime goes toward the living expenses.

The list could go on. I have narrowed the gap. But what of my envy at having a shiny new Mercedes? This requires that I sit back and evaluate the many choices I’ve made in life, up to this point, and the many choices I am sure to have in the future. What am I prepared to do today and in the future to be able to buy that Mercedes? Am I ready to commit to those choices, to that path?

Given that the Mercedes Company is literally pushing their cars out the door, what with zero percent interest and all, I have no doubt that I could buy one. But what then? Will my life be any better? Will I have the financial freedom to do other things, or will I be constrained by a Mercedes payment for the foreseeable future? My questions are working to close the gap from the other side. Suddenly, given the choices I would have to make, the things I would have to give up, my little old, ten-year-old Ford truck doesn’t look so bad.

The nature of enantiodromia is this human tendency to rush toward that ideal, or to jump to conclusions (as Grandma used to say). Once there, however, and once we have worked to “close the gap,” we often bounce to the other extreme, one of self-recrimination and self-doubt. We actually get mad at ourselves for having been so silly.

Enantiodromia, in my view of the concept, is hard work and without any payoff whatsoever. It could be (and this is the case with so many of my clients) that the wild swings are of value, perversely so, and that they somehow work to keep oneself in balance.

Jung would say, “nonsense.” The emotional energy required for such swings is so significant that it creates a clinically significant fatigue.  Jung recognized the value of the concept in explicating the workings of the psyche. It is not just some relic of ancient philosophy but a psychological law which is unfailingly valid in personal affairs. And a complete waste of time.

Extreme one-sided thinking builds up a tension in our psyche, for which the eventual and unavoidable “conversion” is a rush to the opposite pole. Jung sought to encourage in his patients the living of a balanced live—not falling into one-sidedness—and the inevitable result that we won’t have to experience the overwhelment and lack of control that an enantiodromic experience involves.

Ask yourself, “What am I getting from these ceaseless comparisons?” “Have I forgotten to count my many blessings?”

If you find yourself angry, or stuck, or somehow conceiving of yourself as worthless, stop for a moment and reflect on how you may be playing a one-person game of see-saw. Crawl off the see-saw.

Or, in the words of Bob Newhart, the therapist, “stop it!”

Smiling emoticons in work related e-mails portray low competence, according to a new study.

This was simply too good not to put up on my blog immediately.

The paper, published in the journal Social Psychological and Personality Science on July 31^st, also suggested such emojis could undermine information sharing and may not create a positive reaction regarding the communication.  The study was conducted by researchers from Ben-Gurion University of the Negev (BGU), Beer-Shiva, Israel; University of Haifa, Israel; and Amsterdam University, The Netherlands.

They conducted a series of experiments with 549 participants from 29 countries. Not a huge sample by any means, but the findings were apparently significant (in a statistical sense).

According to the study, while smiling during face-to-face communication was perceived as warm and indicated more competence with regards to the first impressions created, a text-based representation of a smile in computer-mediated communication did not have the same effect.

“Our findings provide first-time evidence that, contrary to actual smiles, smileys do not increase perceptions of warmth and actually decrease perceptions of competence,” said Ella Glikson, a post-doctorate fellow at the BGU Department of Management, Guilford Glazer Faculty of Business and Management, according to a news release.  “In formal business e-mails, a smiley is not a smile.”

In one of the three experiments conducted, participants were asked to read a work-related email and then assess the competence and warmth of the person. While the messages remained similar for all participants, some e-mails included smileys. The researchers found that unlike face-to-face communication, smileys did not have any effect on the perception of warmth, and in fact had a negative effect regarding perception of competence.

“The study also found that when the participants were asked to respond to e-mails on formal matters, their answers were more detailed and they included more content-related information when the e-mail did not include a smiley,” said Glikson. “We found that the perceptions of low competence if a smiley is included in turn undermined information sharing.”

“When you meet somebody for the first time, face to face, smiling is normal. Is a smiley or smile by email considered equivalent? No. Really no. It does not create that perception of warmth, of friendliness. It does not achieve that, whatever we might expect,” said Arik Cheshin of the University of Haifa’s Department of Human Services, a co-author of the study, according to a report by Haaretz (a news agency).

Another experiment saw the use of a smiley compared to a smiling or neutral photograph in a work-related email. This experiment found that the smiling sender was perceived as more competent and friendly than the neutral sender.

The study also contributed to the discussion of the role of gender with regards to use and interpretation of emoticons. When the gender of the sender was unknown, participants were more likely to assume the sender was a woman if it included a smiley. According to the news release, however, this had no influence on assessing competence and friendliness.

“People tend to assume that a smiley is a virtual smile, but the findings of this study show that in the case of the workplace, at least as far as initial ‘encounters’ are concerned, this is incorrect,” Glikson concluded. “For now, at least, a smiley can only replace a smile when you already know the other person. In initial interactions, it is better to avoid using smileys, regardless of age or gender.”

I really never liked emoticons. And as of today, I intend to stop using them altogether. 🙂

In the professions of counseling and executive mentoring we often speak of our scope of competence. What that means is this: we know what we can do and work to expand that scope, but we also understand what we cannot do and work to refer our clients to others who have that (whatever it is) in their scope of competence.

Warren Buffet calls this the circle of competence. In business, it is often referred to as a firm’s “core competency.” Knowing what that is, and outsourcing the rest, is the key to sustainable business excellence.

As an aside, yesterday Cindy, Julietta, and I, were stuck in a traffic backup on Interstate 80. As we looked at the many large trucks idling around us, waiting as we were for the accident ahead to be cleared, Julietta asked about a truck’s insignia, parked next to us, which read: Logistics.

I am not sure when the term logistics took off. Surely, as a concept, it has been around for a long time. In brief, logistics companies do for you what you would rather not do for yourself. They do for you what you are not good at. They allow you to focus on those things that you do do well – your core competency.

What an investor needs is the ability to correctly evaluate selected businesses. Note that word “selected”: You don’t have to be an expert on every company, or even many. You only have to be able to evaluate companies within your circle of competence. The size of that circle is not very important; knowing its boundaries, however, is vital.

Thus began Warren Buffett in a shareholder letter of many years ago.  And the concept of a Circle of Competence is simple: Each of us, through experience or study, has built up useful knowledge on certain areas of the world. Some areas are understood by most of us, while some areas require a lot more specialty to evaluate.

For example, most of us have a basic understanding of the economics of a restaurant: You rent or buy space, spend money to outfit the place and then hire employees to seat, serve, cook, and clean. (And, if you don’t want to do it yourself, to manage.)

From there it’s a matter of generating enough traffic and setting the appropriate prices to generate a profit on the food and drinks you serve—after all of your operating expenses have been paid. Though the cuisine, atmosphere, and price points will vary by restaurant, they all have to follow the same economic formula.

That basic knowledge, along with some understanding of accounting and a little bit of study, would enable one to evaluate and invest in any number of restaurants and restaurant chains; public or private. It’s not all that complicated.

However, can most of us say we understand the workings of a microchip company or a biotech drug company at the same level? Perhaps not.

But as Buffett so eloquently put it, we do not necessarily need to understand these more esoteric areas to invest capital. Far more important is to honestly define what we do know and stick to those areas. Our circle of competence can be widened, but only slowly and over time. Mistakes are most often made when straying from this discipline.

The essential question he sought to answer: Where should we devote our limited time in life, in order to achieve the most success? Here’s a simple prescription:

You have to figure out what your own aptitudes are. If you play games where other people have the aptitudes and you don’t, you’re going to lose. And that’s as close to certain as any prediction that you can make. You have to figure out where you’ve got an edge. And you’ve got to play within your own circle of competence.

If you want to be the best tennis player in the world, you may start out trying and soon find out that it’s hopeless—that other people blow right by you. However, if you want to become the best plumber in Pittsburgh, that is probably doable by two-thirds of you. It takes a will. It takes the intelligence. But after a while, you’d gradually know all about plumbing in Pittsburgh and master the art. That is an attainable objective, given enough discipline. And people who could never win a chess tournament or stand in center court in a respectable tennis tournament can rise quite high in life by slowly developing a circle of competence—which results partly from what they were born with and partly from what they slowly develop through work.

So, the simple takeaway here is clear. If you want to improve your odds of success in life and business then define the perimeter of your circle of competence, and operate inside. Over time, work to expand that circle but never fool yourself about where it stands today, and never be afraid to say “I don’t know.”

Or, as Dirty Harry has said, “A man’s GOT to know his limitations.”